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somacub : looks like belief, feels like desperation
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in somacub's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, September 3rd, 2009
12:43 pm
so...it's been months since i posted. i wonder if anyone is still reading?

(other than ami, of course!)

i've been using facebook so heavily that lj has almost become a thing of the past.

for those of you who might think i've died, here's the basics

1) job went to hell. nancy grace was coming for a book signing, and the 'big shot bus tour' was on the way. so i got the hell out.

2) my way out was, yes, twelve years later...back to college. going for my BA in English. if i can get past this damned math class, i'll be all set.

3) haven't spent much time with or on Evolver Atlanta since the event in June. being an hour away sucks, and a lot of the topics that they've focused on haven't resonated with me very strongly. i still love those guys, and hope to be more involved in the future.

4) moving ahead well with my magazine Fifth World Journal. first issue was printed and out in time for the festival, and i'm putting the finishing touches on the second issue - hopefully have it printed by the end of this month or early in october. biggest problem this time around is the cover - no matter what i do, i'm just not happy with it.

5) still in Macon. still with Bill. still have way too many pets. finding this city much easier to deal with now that i'm not stuck in that bookstore 50+ hours a week.

any questions?

if you comment, i'll try to respond (if my math test this afternoon doesn't cause me to stroke out and die).

Current Mood: decent
Friday, February 27th, 2009
12:25 am
the event went astounding well last weekend.

but here's the screwed up part - i've always hated speaking in front of people. even in high school, it was the most dreaded part of a class for me when i had to give any sort of presentation.

after doing the panel, however, it's all i can think about. i freaking LOVED speaking to the crowd about conciousness and 2012 and all the things that we're doing in Atlanta. i'm already working on doing a joint presentation with another Evolver member that focuses solely on the Long Count and Dreamspell calendars, and i'm really feeling that i may have some sort of future (perhaps even financially) as a lecturer or workshop facilitator.

and you thought i was never gonna get around to becoming a guru :)

Current Mood: hopeful
Thursday, February 19th, 2009
11:24 am
this made me happy. the dude can sing, but it's nothing that exciting until about the 2:30 mark....and then i laughed so hard i almost puked. this guy could destroy anyone on american idol.

Wednesday, February 18th, 2009
7:12 pm
Tori has announced the title of her new album, due in spring :

Abnormally Attracted To Sin

i may have just peed a little :)

oh, and if anyone cares...i'm doing a panel this weekend, the flyer is below...(i'm adam WEAVER, btw) - if you're in Atlanta, drop in and see me!

Thursday, January 15th, 2009
10:52 pm
for oneirocritical
for some reason, certain songs make me think of the lovely hotness that is Ami...this is one of them that i've been listening to a lot lately...it's sad, but beautiful...Ami, if you want an mp3, just let me know and I'll hook you up :)

Bones and a Name - by Nina Gordon

Rolling through the canyon blasting 'Heartbreaker'
I see your famous face riding next to me
We smile at each other 'cause we know we know each other
But damn if I’m going to talk to you again
I always thought that you were funny
I always thought we could be friends
But the way you treated her in the end...

All the horses and all the men
Couldn't bring her back again
And we tried so hard
But couldn't save her day
All the millions and the billions of stars that shined into her eyes
Were barely bright enough to light her way

So she covered herself in sorrow and shame
And smoke and mirrors and fame
And fake love
Angry love
Bad love and sad love
And damn if i didn't almost do the same
And now sometimes i think i see her
I can almost hear her cry
I hear those chilling words she chose to say goodbye

And all the horses and all the men
Couldn't bring her back again
And we tried so hard
But couldn't save her day
All the millions and the billions of stars that shined into her eyes
Were barely bright enough to light her way

He was predictable, cliché, and cruel to you
He made it ugly, and he made it high school
He said i love you
I need you
I want you
I'll feed you
I get you
I've got you
I'll catch you
And I’ll keep you, my sweet
And you will never be sad again
He said my sweet you will never be sad again

And all the horses and all the men
Couldn't bring her back again
And we tried so hard
But couldn't save her day
All the millions and the billions of stars that shined into her eyes
I swear sometimes i can almost hear her say

That we're just bones and a name
We all go out the way we came
So don't you try to tell me
That love is all we need
We're just bones and a name
We all go out the way we came
So don't you try to tell me
That love is all we need
Don't you try to tell me
That love is all we need
Wednesday, December 10th, 2008
7:05 pm
Post a comment if you wanna play, annnnnnnnd:

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you which song or movie you remind me of.
3. I'll challenge you to do one thing.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me. (I'll try to, anyway.)
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you. (And you have to tell me the answer!)
8. I'll tell you my favorite thing about you.
9. I'll tell you my least favorite thing about you.
10. If you play, you MUST post this on yours.
Saturday, December 6th, 2008
9:12 pm
Writer's Block: Legends of Rock
There are a few concerts that go down in musical history—Altamont, Woodstock, Live Aid, the Hannah Montana Best of Both Worlds tour—as legendary experiences. What live show stands as legend in your own experience?
i suppose the only show i've ever seen that could be called legendary was the first time i saw Tori Amos...it was at the State Theater in Detroit, 1994, the second night of her shows there - everything was *perfection* - i've seen her 20 or so times since, and that still stands out as the best performance i've ever witnessed.
Sunday, November 23rd, 2008
12:23 am
last saturday, and today, i helped host and promote a http://www.realitysandwich.com event in Atlanta. we screened a 4-part dvd, "crossing the event horizon", a film by Nassim Haramein and the fine folks at http://www.theresonanceproject.org. i was a little iffy after last weeks showing - the material was VERY complex, everyone seemed silently baffled - seriously, it was some hardcore physics, even my hot genius husband was a little thrown.

this week was a completely different story. everyone from last week returned (much to our relief), and the last two parts of the dvd were absolutely amazing. after the showing, stephen (who organized the event) and i hung out for an hour or so and talked to some of the attendees. there are some DAMN cool people in Atlanta, and they've got some great ideas. i was great to see young people taking such interest in social issues that aren't presented on the evening news, and actually doing things to better themselves and the world. i think a really cool group of forward-thinking folks are coming together, and i'm frankly estatic to be part of the process.

oh, and our water is all fucked up at the house, and the city thinks we're gonna pay almost 5000 bucks to fix the pipes under the street. whatthehellever, we say.

Current Mood: hopeful
Friday, November 7th, 2008
9:44 pm
self-indulgent nothingness
bill is out of town for the evening. i miss him, of course.

but it gave me a really good excuse to make a dinner that he'd NEVER eat.

garlic chicken with pasta and spinach and a homemade white sauce.

if i vanish for a few days, drop by and see if i'm stuck to the bottom of the pan.

Current Mood: hungry
Sunday, November 2nd, 2008
10:17 pm
awesome event happening in atlanta nov 15 and 22nd
Reality Sandwich (http://www.realitysandwich.com), in partnership with the Resonance Project and the Parkgrounds Coffeeshop, is having a FREE showing of the film "Crossing the Event Horizon", the first dvd put out by the Resonance Project (http://www.theresonanceproject.org) on Nov 15 and 22nd, in Atlanta GA. Check out the website, watch the trailer, and if you're interested in joining us, come on down/up/over, whatever you do!

Official blurb : "In this 4-DVD presentation, physicist Nassim Haramein will take you on a journey through humanity's evolution, exposing the changes necessary to produce an all-encompassing unified physics. Demonstrating the parallels between this theory and ancient codes found in pyramids, crop circles, and esoteric doctrines, Haramein weaves a tale which may prove to be one of the most important discoveries of our time."

The showing will be at the ParkGrounds Coffeeshop in Reynoldstown - 145 Flat Shoals Ave SE, Atlanta GA 30316. Parts 1&2 of the documentary will be shown on the 15th, parts 3&4 on the 22nd. Showtime will be 6pm on both dates.

Please drop me a line at somacub@yahoo.com if you have any questions...would love to see some of you there!

Current Mood: excited
Friday, August 8th, 2008
11:34 pm
happy though, courtesy of eliezer sobel
Sign at a monastery in Thailand:

Cut yourself some slack:

100 years from now

All new people.
Saturday, July 26th, 2008
12:15 am
Happy Blue Electric Storm New Year!
Hey everybody...I know it's not the 'normal' new year..but go with me on this....

check out http://www.13moon.com if you're curious...
Thursday, July 24th, 2008
12:26 am
life in joe-ja...
has been alternately wonderful and shitty. the house rules. the cats seem stupid happy that they have a cool room to sleep in, and Gremlin gets to spend way more time harrassing the puppy. there's a massively cool little new age bookstore about ten minutes up the road that i've only been able to visit once, but i hope to get back to soon and often. i'm even considering going to church (gasp!) - no worries, it's Universalist Unitarian - last week's sermon was about a Native American vision quest - no danger of me thumping a bible.

on the down side, my transfer with Barnes & Noble didn't work out for shit - i got the job, mind you, i just ended up working for a complete jerk of a store manager. so i quit (after raising hell with Barnes and getting the guy investigated by his regional manager), and got a job at Books-A-Million. i had to take a pay and position cut, but it's better there. two days in and i'm already being talked about for a 'specialist' position. the part that really sucks is vaccuming a store at 11pm. really, that's the last thing i want to do - and something i haven't done in at least a decade, at work anyways. meh. at least no one has tried to kill me for not knowing how to make a triple decaf soy chocolate chunk berry twister frappucino, or any of those other god-awful starbucks products.

i'm still trying to get the new journal up and running. seems like the hardest part is going to be convincing people to do some writing. i'm not asking for the world, just a few paragraphs...but people in the spiritual/ecological community are, as a rule, a damn lazy bunch. lots of talking, next to no walking. oh well...i have a few ideas for columns that i can write myself - and a great author (Marie D. Jones) who's agreed to do an interview for my first issue - and at least i know i have some cool non-local people at http://www.realitysandwich.com who are going to help me promote the site/journal.

for anyone i haven't talked to recently, i apologize - moving and getting settled in a new house is exhausting. things seem to be getting sorted now, so if anyone would like to chat, i still have the same cell phone number, and can be emailed at somacub@yahoo.com. hope everyone is doing well...um...well, i hope everyone is alive...

Current Mood: exhausted
Thursday, July 17th, 2008
9:32 pm
i've often wondered, while shopping at The Fresh Market, exactly how 'organic' and 'healthy' is the food that i buy there. with every giant corporation jumping on the green bandwagon, there has to be a considerable amount of disinformation on organic/health food packaging...read the article below for the full-on scoop...disturbing, to say the least


Current Mood: cynical
Tuesday, July 1st, 2008
11:48 pm
this will probably be my last post for a while...we're moving to GA this Thursday, and between the actual physical move, the unpacking, the updating personal info, and the hardly posting anyways, it could be some time before i come back around...i'll still check in to read my friends page, if nothing else.

i'll take this moment to vent, if you don't mind.

after almost two years at my current job, tonight was my last night. i thought i was pretty close with the managment team, especially two of the women...we'll call them C&C. yesterday, my next-to-last day, they both promised to drop in this evening to say goodbye and one of them said she 'had something for me'. well, the hours passed tonight, and neither of them showed up. i'd considered both of them friends, and i'm really quite hurt by this. bill said it's probably because they don't want me to see them upset, but i think that if that's the case, they shouldn't have promised to come by. i don't give a shit about presents or anything, but to have two 'friends', who you may never see again, just ditch you...sigh. i'm not much with the tears, but it took a lot to keep them in on the way home.

i've been on a bit of a despression-downer kick the last few days, thinking back and realizing just how few friends i made during my time in SC. i worked with some cool people, and i'll try to keep in touch with a few, but most of them were forgettable, or at best unreliable. outside of work, i knew a handful of people, but the majority of them lived an hour away and becoming close just wasn't an option.

basically, i've spent almost two years with no friends other than bill. and as fantastic as he is, it's been really difficult. my people from michigan, most notably jim and dawn, have kept in touch, as real friends will do. but i really don't know if anyone here will even remember me in a few months. it's hard to realize that i'm leaving somewhere for the second time in less than two years, and in the long run, those two years have been more or less a loss.

i have some big plans and dreams for GA - living an hour from Atlanta will allow me to get involved with and start up some communities that i've wanted to be involved in for a long time, but was restricted by location. i know it's where i'm meant to be at this time in my life, i just pray that i have the energy and the good fortune to make it more worthwhile than my time in SC has been.


if anyone wants to get in touch over the next week or so, the best thing to do is call my cell if you have the number, or email me at somacub@yahoo.com and i'll get back to you as soon as i can.

Current Mood: exhausted
Saturday, June 28th, 2008
12:36 am
another banner...
can't help it...love the crap out of this site...
Sunday, June 22nd, 2008
12:06 am
giving up...
on LJ

i think

most of the people i know rarely post here anymore. and the posts that are done are more of the 'humorous' variety. it's all good...and some of you do interesting posts - oneirocritical springs to mind - but as far as a tool for communication, it's pretty much dead to me...dead to me i say!

as lame as it is, i'll probably just do all my blogging on myspace from now on. unless someone can give me a REALLY good reason not to.

is anyone even reading my shit anymore?

i've got a big project coming up, and it seems pretty pointless to even mention it here...

Current Mood: bored
Thursday, June 12th, 2008
3:00 am
shock and awe
i went to Asheville, NC tonight, with some friends from work, to see Rilo Kiley. they were great, as expected...but before the show, Blake from Rilo Kiley came out and said a few words about some 'friends' of the band that wanted to play a few songs for us. and then, he introduced...

Gillian Welch and David Rawlings!!!!!!!!!!

i nearly peed right there. and almost again when it was time for Rilo Kiley's encore, and Gillian and David came back out and did a cover of "Stop Draggin' My Heart Around" with the full Rilo Kiley crew as back-up.

i'm pretty sure i can die happy now :)

Current Mood: estatic
Monday, June 9th, 2008
8:59 pm
Friday, May 30th, 2008
2:46 pm
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